CricDigs Blogs

This happened yesterday.

Sharad Pawar had called in his doctors and they checked his blood pressure. It was really high. His PA said that Pawar has been cursing and scolding in his dreams over the past couple of nights, an unusal thing rarely seen even during his long career in politics that has seen many ups and downs. He was also heard of using a few words that sounded like expletives in Marathi, another rare phenomenon. And the names of Greg Chappell, and a few Indian players were mentioned in his dreamy rants. The doctors suggested no medication but replacing the coach and a few players as a remedy.

Pawar summoned Dileep Vengsarkar, Kiran More and the rest of the selectors to do something. He was vehemently encouraged by the officials and the side kicks. After all this is the time to show that they are not unscrupulous people who just live off public funds. They also are Indian supporters and the team had no right to sink the ship off the Carribean coast so unceremoniously.

So everybody who mattered in Indian cricket were invited. It was to be a meeting of selectors, board officials, and ex-players and no longer the hush-hush closed door meetings by a selected undeserving few like the ones of yesteryears. Siddhu was also included in this meeting. Confabulations lasted long. The first thing taken up for discussion was the removal of the coach. Expletives flew thick and fast at the mere mention of Greg Chappell’s name. Do these coaches even have any real concern for the team? More expletives flew. It stopped only when Gavaskar threatened to leave the venue.

Some more muted expletives later it was decided unanimously that a unique candidate would be appointed as a coach. Many ex-player’s names were tossed in and out. But every member of the meeting had something or other against each suggested name. Somebody even suggested the name of Lalu Prasad Yadav for his excellent man mangement skills. He was promptly silenced for his stupidity. “Lalu, however great he may be, has certain issues with Pawar. So he cannot be considered for the post. No, knowledge of cricket doesn’t matter here. A person of Lalu’s calibre can learn cricket in a few days. But the issue really is his relationship with Pawar, which is not conducive for such an arrangment.” - A trusted side kick of Pawar reasoned.

Suddenly Siddhu who was strangely silent during the entire procedure so far did the unexpected. Instead of shouting at the top of his voice he whispered something into the ears of Sunil Gavaskar seated next to him. Gavaskar nodded his head sagely. Then Gavaskar woke up Mohinder Amarnath who had dosed off from the beginning and passed him the message, all the while nodding his head more sagely. Amarnath passed it on to Srikanth not before turning back to Gavaskar umpteen number of times to cross check. Srikanth who was busy fidgeting stopped doing that and in a rare display of calmness whispered the same to Dileep Vengsarkar. Vengsarkar’s face was aglow with delight. He leaned forward and explained to Sharad Pawar about the content of the message. Sharad Pawar listened to the entire briefing intently, paused for sometime mulling over the suggestion. Then he got up, went up to Siddhu, hugged him, and praised him for his great brains hidden under the turban.

Now everybody in the room was wondering what’s happening? The guy serving tea had already spilled hot tea on a member’s nice suit. A majority, present there for the sumptuous food, have started murmuring about their intentions to hog. Sharad Pawar finally declared in a tone that barely managed to conceal the glee: it has been decided that Mandira Bedi has been selected as the coach of the Indian team unanimously. We expect the team to scale new heights with Mandira at the helm of the affairs. And the fate of guilty Indian players will be decided later, of course in consultation with Mandira.

The crowd of cricketing officials, ex-players, and members broke into loud cheers and some young ones let out a few cat calls. The meeting ended. Pawar was relieved.

This decision would be made public soon after the due official procedure.